A good old Laney update

15 months old! Wow! It's been awhile since I've given an update on Laney. I feel like she has learned so many new things that it would be impossible to list them all.

Our favourite new things:

Laney's hair is now in her eyes. I have resorted to the "palm tree" hairstyle as I don't want to cut it yet. Her hair always comes forward and I'm hoping that putting it back as it grows will help me be able to brush it back.

And, check out her lashes. I love them. I kiss her eyes all the time.

Doesn't it make her look so much older with her hair up?

 I've been trying to not care about the mess she makes and let her learn to use a spoon. I will do better with the next one, I promise. This is quite late to be learning how to use a spoon isn't it?

Another thing I'm trying to do better with is taking her outside more often. It wasn't really a problem in the warmer months, but I find I like to hibernate when the temperature drops and the ground is snow covered. This has been a very cold winter here. But, Laney still loves going outside.

She is really starting to talk. She understands so much now as well.

Words: Thank you (tank yooo), please (peas), yes, no, mummy (mama), daddy (dada), grandpa (grappa), grandma (mamma), nana, grandad (gradad), Isla (Eya) (her cousin), Laney (naney), ball (bah), book (buh), down (daoon), up, help (hep), baby, poop, bath (bat), this (dis), that (dat) and that's all I can think of.

She now weighs 22 lbs. She is also starting to run more than walk. She has been sleeping really well lately too!

Also, I want to let you know how work is going for me. My sister is watching Laney and she has adjusted with no problems. I love how excited she is when I get home though! I only work about two or three days a week and some shifts are evening shifts so it doesn't really seem like I'm away from her that much. It takes me five minutes to get to my work so it is awesome to literally have no commute.

Ideally, I would like to be a stay at home mum and I think it will happen when I have a second child. I do love my work and if I could clone myself I would. Work will always be there once my children are in school so it's not like it has to be all or nothing. Another wonderful thing about my career is that I can always work as part-time as I want (or even casual).

Thanks for all your support. It is conflicting going back to work. But, I got to spend Laney's first 14 months with her fully as a SAHM and now I'm just going to work part time for awhile. A lot of mothers have it much tougher than that so I can't (and shouldn't) complain about it.

And, to abruptly change the subject, I have to leave you with this. Normally Laney sleeps in her crib or carseat. This is what happened when we got home from church last week. I laid her on the couch to take off her tights and jacket and she fell asleep. She stayed like this for about a half hour. So cute!

A few randoms

-Laney has croup. Poor little one. I've tried taking her outside to breathe cold air and we have been doing a lot of snuggling. She is now on breathing medications. She doesn't exactly enjoy having the mask held over her face. Have any of you guys dealt with croup before? What helped?

-Winter arrived. Last night we had a winter storm warning. It's days like this when I'm glad I don't have to leave the house if I don't want to. The temperature dropped significantly and we now have a lovely white blanket covering everything outside. During times like these I always wish I had a fireplace to snuggle up in front of. Hence, the Wooden Wick candles I bought. They crackle a bit and smell great.

-I got my Christmas decorations up. The tree looks a little funny as I've had to move all the ornaments out of Laney's reach. That's alright though. I'd rather have my Laney and a funny looking tree, than a department store tree and no Laney.

-I got the job! I start in January which is exactly what I was hoping for. Now I get to enjoy a couple more months with my little one before starting work. It is five shifts every fourteen days. I wouldn't mind a little less, but I am so thankful that I do not have to work full-time. Now I'm just nervous because it seems like I have forgotten everything and it has been awhile since I have had patients depending on me. I am so thankful that my old job wouldn't extend my maternity leave giving me the impetus to quit. I probably wouldn't have quit even though I wanted to.

-With a sick baby, my house is a disaster zone. Seriously. I need to do a good clean, but I am lacking energy after spending most of my time tending to Laney.

-I've also now missed two days of the 30 day shred. I am making myself do it tonight after Laney is sleeping for the night.

Bust

My sister and I decided to hold a yard sale on the weekend. I have been collecting things that I don't want anymore for awhile and thought this would be the perfect oppurtunity to get rid of some of it and also make a buck or two. I made $30. Anyways, I don't know quite what I did wrong, but I only sold about three items. And, a yard sale is a lot of work. I don't know that $30 really is worth the effort. Perhaps it was just too cold. I am keeping the stuff and will try again in the spring. Otherwise, I think I'm done with yard sales.

Do you have any tips for yard/garage sales?

Even though we didn't sell much, my sister and I had fun hanging out. Laney loved seeing her cousin too.

In other news, I got my top up pay from work. It was a lot more than I expected. God always seems to provide for us when we need it and I feel a little better about not having a job to go to right away. I have a possibility, but won't really have any more details until the end of November.

I also just want to thank all of you who have taken the time to leave comments in the past. I really try not to get caught up in how many comments I get, but I never anticipated how uplifting it is to receive tips, advice, and supportive comments. Thank you. I have never been one to plan my posts, but I do have a few "scheduled" ones coming soon. I have a really great (or at least I think so) idea for working on my weight loss through a series of posts, I have to finish the story of how Mike and I met, and I also have a giveaway coming up. I am hesitant about doing giveaways and am curious what you all think of them. I certainly do not want to become a review/giveaway site, but I think a giveaway every now and then would be OK. No?

Breathe

That is what I need to do. Mike and I had a heart-to-heart yesterday. I admitted to him that I am getting literally sick at the thought of going back to work. I can feel my body tensing up and it feels hard to breathe when I think about it. I just don't know how I'm going to be able to trust anyone outside of Mike or I to watch Laney. She can be a difficult child. She can be clingy. She can cry. I keep hearing horrible instances of children being beaten by their caregivers. And I am afraid of what someone who has no connection to Laney would do if she was being extremely fussy. I know that those experiences are rare, but what if the caregiver wasn't abusive, but just neglected her or was mean to her? I can't stop picturing Laney crying holding her arms up and the caregiver pushing her away or locking her in a room to cry alone.

I feel like I am failing her by going back to work. No one else loves her as much as I do. Shouldn't she experience the most love during her first years in this world? We have examined every shred of our budget. We have looked at what we can do without and what the bare minimum would be required for us to live. And I have to go back to work. I know I am extremely fortunate as I only have to go back to work two days a week. I know so many mothers choose or have to go back to work full-time and that is fine. But for me, I am panicking at the thought of even two days a week.

However, as uncomfortable as I am with the thought of someone else looking after Laney, the fact is that I have to go back. So I need to choose a caregiver as diligently as I can. Daycare or dayhome? Would you who have had to make these decisions give me some advice on how to find someone? Please?

And on a lighter note, how can I ever leave this face?