twenty-seven dresses...

I don't know about you, but I am somewhat of a clothing hoarder. I outgrow clothing and then hold on to it because I plan to fit into it again.

This results in an over-packed closet full of clothing, with nothing to wear ever. When I last organized my closet at the beginning of my weight-loss after Laney, I found it so much easier to deal with everything. Actually moving out the too-small clothing made it more motivating for me to lose weight.

original closet

after organization

I went and added clothing to the closet as I grew smaller, but I left the bigger clothing in, knowing that I was soon planning on getting pregnant. That was a mistake. I should have gotten rid of the bigger stuff and planned on only maternity clothing for my pregnancy. Leaving the bigger items in my closet made it too easy to allow myself to gain weight throughout my pregnancy with Neve and embarrassingly, more after. I think I would have thought twice if I had to go out and purchase larger clothing instead of simply pulling it out of my closet.

So, I am cleaning out my closet again. And, this time I am getting rid of clothing as they become too big.

Which, brings me to the fun way I would like to document my weight loss. I have a gazillion formal dresses, fourteen if we are going to be exact. They represent high school, family and friends' weddings, college to the present time. So, in other words they start out small and gradually get bigger.

I thought a fun motivator for me would be for me to work my way backwards through these dresses and then let them go. Either altering them to fit me at a healthy weight, or getting them out of my house forever (except my wedding dress).

Here's the first dress on the chopping block. Stay tuned.

Back to basics

I can't believe that it was almost three years ago that I attempted to train for 100 push-ups.  That just shows how it is all well and good to have goals, but if you don't actually stick with them you end up  further down the road with nothing changed. Ok, that isn't to say that I made zero progress, because looking back, I couldn't do a single push-up. And I did get close to my weight goal before getting pregnant again.

But... I am pretty much back where I started. I am not giving up, however.

I may struggle, I may temporarily give up, but I will keep trying again,

I did the initial test this time and thankfully I managed two push-ups. I am now up to 22 push-ups in five reps. I totally recommend this program, you guys. It is amazing how quickly improvement takes place.

Coming up..

I've been looking at a few basic fitness tests so that I have a standard both to compare my progress with and to aspire to. I will show you which one I plan to use soon.

OK I totally failed

I haven't been exercising. I haven't been eating all that healthy. I haven't done pushups for awhile.

And, that's why I haven't been talking about it on here. Because I feel like a failure. I know it's common to start off with a whole lot of motivation. Why can't I seem to keep it going? I feel like I'm at a standstill. Mike is starting to want another child and I refuse until I get my body back. I don't want to get to the point where it is so far down the road that I just go for it with my body the way it is. I want to be healthy in my next pregnancy. I know it will only be more difficult to get my body back after another pregnancy and with two small children. That is why I need to do it now.

So, I'm jumping back on the wagon. And, hopefully, this little one will keep me motivated.

Motivation

I often feel the urge to give up when I am trying to do something hard. Whether it be pushups, losing weight, trying to make a new habit, or even keeping my house clean, I find it difficult to stick with it. It is so much easier to give in and just eat that ice cream, because this one time won't make a difference. The problem is, I don't just stop with that one time. I think, "oh well, I've already screwed up, might as well do whatever I want." This leads me to eat ice cream everyday (hypothetically speaking, of course). I find quitting to be my biggest hurdle. I guess the good thing is that I've recently recognized this flaw in myself. That's the first step right?

I have some powerful motivators to keep me sticking to my goals. They are also good enough to help me back up after I've failed. They are enough for me to say "screw yesterday" today is a new day.

I can't just always take the easy road. I've got a ridiculously cute little pair of eyes watching my every move. And she needs to learn that the best way usually isn't the easiest way (unless we're talking about slow cookers). That is enough to keep me going.

These are the two people on Earth who motivate me the most.


Here's a picture just to gross you out. But, it makes me happy.