Keeping it real

I haven't lived up to my goal of weekly weight-loss updates. No excuses. And, thankfully it's not because I haven't been making any progress. I have. Big time. I just haven't had much time for the blog lately. I never want this to feel like a chore. I blog about trying to improve myself because it keeps me accountable and I enjoy it. If I don't feel like posting then I just won't.

Alright, on with the update already.

I am down 20 lbs since I really started trying to lose weight at the end of February. Yay. The not-so-great right now is that I'm currently stuck in a plateau. I'm not cheating at all on food and I started exercising almost every day. I have been stuck at the same weight for almost two weeks. Boo. It was so tempting to quit exercising. The weight was falling off just fine until I decided adding exercise in would be a good idea. I am pushing through for the time being because I feel great and I know it is good for me in the long run.

Moving on. I look slightly put together for me today. I bought this shirt today and was so happy with the way the clothing I tried on fit my body. I can't wait until my current clothing doesn't fit anymore.

I am not wearing any makeup today as per usual. Do you get used to wearing makeup everyday? I hardly ever put it on and when I do it feels so uncomfortable on my face. I really want to start wearing some more often.

I do need to work on looking a little more put together overall. Jogging pants are too comfortable. I think it's time to wear something that is a little more form fitting. We'll leave the heels for awhile longer I think.

Thanks for following along with me.

Motivation

I often feel the urge to give up when I am trying to do something hard. Whether it be pushups, losing weight, trying to make a new habit, or even keeping my house clean, I find it difficult to stick with it. It is so much easier to give in and just eat that ice cream, because this one time won't make a difference. The problem is, I don't just stop with that one time. I think, "oh well, I've already screwed up, might as well do whatever I want." This leads me to eat ice cream everyday (hypothetically speaking, of course). I find quitting to be my biggest hurdle. I guess the good thing is that I've recently recognized this flaw in myself. That's the first step right?

I have some powerful motivators to keep me sticking to my goals. They are also good enough to help me back up after I've failed. They are enough for me to say "screw yesterday" today is a new day.

I can't just always take the easy road. I've got a ridiculously cute little pair of eyes watching my every move. And she needs to learn that the best way usually isn't the easiest way (unless we're talking about slow cookers). That is enough to keep me going.

These are the two people on Earth who motivate me the most.


Here's a picture just to gross you out. But, it makes me happy.

On My Mind

Today is rather random. I apologize. My brain is cluttered with too many different thoughts. I think it might be due to the four hours of sleep I got last night. Someone please tell me that all babies sleep eventually.

I looked at the date today and realized that today is August 23. This day will always be remembered. My first baby was due on this day last year. We lost that one. If things had been different, we would be celebrating our first baby's birthday around now. However, God managed to turn things around for good.

You see, Laney wouldn't be here if circumstances had been different. She was born at the end of October last year. So while we don't know why God allows bad things to happen to us, and we may never know in this life, I do know that He can turn terrible things into good ones.

I finally weighed myself today. It wasn't pretty. I actually weigh 3 more pounds than I did a week after Laney was born. I lost a lot of weight that first week (thanks to postpartum sweating and a little diet plan called H1N1). However, I am now about 15 pounds more than I weighed before I got pregnant with Laney. I promptly logged onto sparkpeople.com and am going to start tracking my meals.

I am sick of editing myself out of photos with Laney because I don't like the way I look. It is time to either suck it up or deal with it. I am going to choose the latter. Laney deserves to have a mummy in her photo albums. She also deserves to have a mummy that will set an example for her by displaying a positive body image. I am going to give it to her. She is going to face many attacks on her self-image as she grows and I do not one to be one of them.

In light of all of this, I kicked Laney and I out of the house today. Too many depressing thoughts to muddy up the day at home with. The weather has been lousy for the past couple of weeks, but I decided not to let that leave us house-bound for another minute. We needed to get out and breathe some fresh air.

It was worth it.
I even let her crawl in the dirt. She loved it.


Look what I caught on camera!


I cured my "monday blues." I hope you have a wonderful Monday.

A New Day With a Clean Slate

I fall down so many times when I am trying to improve myself. I hope I can always pick myself up and carry on.

The pushups goal is going fairly well. There was a minor hiccup when I missed a day last week. I was ready to throw in the towel and not even bother. I managed to convince myself to continue and was so proud of myself when I did. Once I continued, I discovered that I have increased my maximum pushups from 10 to 15. In only a few weeks. There is one fantastic reason right there to keep going even though I will never do things perfectly.

Keeping my house clean is going so-so. I have fabulous weeks. I have bad weeks. Hopefully I can become a little less bi-polar-cleaning-lady. This was my to do list from Monday.

Today is Thursday and it is still staring me in the face. Showing me what a disappointment I am. Well, since I am the boss of this list, I get to erase it. I don't have to worry about all the items on it that did not get completed. They do not have to go on a new list. They are done.

Tomorrow is a new day and I will have a new list.

Oh, and the flossing is going well also. I have been flossing almost every day, with a miss here and there. No more pink in the sink. My teeth feel great.

On Complaints and Domestic Bliss

I would like to apologize for my last post. Complaints really have nothing to do with improving myself. Actually, not being negative is something I do need to work on. So let my previous post serve as an example of how I don't want to be.

I do find family get togethers stressful sometimes. Mike has a very large, loud family. I have a small, calm family. OK, having three sisters isn't exactly calm, but overall, my relatives are more reserved. What I am used to is about as opposite from what Mike is used to as you can get. Because of this, I need to learn to relax a little more at these functions.

There are times when I need to stop worrying about sleep schedules and let my baby come out of her crib. I am such a sucker and can't let her cry. If she's upset and I can't calm her down, it isn't the end of the world to bring her out with us. Last night was one of those times. She is still off-kilter from the weekend away and she is not her happy little self.


Speaking of family get-togethers. This is what I came home to after our weekend away. Do you ever get home from a vacation to find that your house looks like this, no matter the state you left it in? Does it stress you out like it does me? It never used to, but it sure does now.


I am a messy person in recovery. My bedroom growing up and after I moved away from home was just atrocious. I remember my Mum always telling me that I needed to learn how to keep my room clean as it was going to drive guys away. I used to laugh and tell her that if a guy liked me, he wouldn't care less about what my room looked like.

It turns out, Mum was right.

Mike and I really don't fight all that often. I have heard that the number one cause of disagreements between couples is money. While we have had a disagreement or two over money (or more like our lack thereof), I must admit that 99% of our arguments and disagreements are about the state of the house. I wonder how that ranks in the stats. Mike can't stand disorganization. He is a list man. He is an everything-has-its-place kind of guy. Mike cannot go to sleep with a messy house. He has to take care of it immediately. If I wanted to bug him, all I would have to do would be to leave an unopened piece of mail by the front door, not that I have ever done this ;) I would probably have about 24 hours before he couldn't take it anymore.

I have improved so much since we have gotten married. I think Mike sometimes forgets this. I do think we are starting to meet in the middle though, or at least the middle of his side of things. Anyways, I don't really want to admit it, especially to Mike, but I feel so much calmer when everything is organized. I actually hate not having a bed made now. I never thought I would be that type of person.

So after avoiding the mess for about a day, I got busy.

And now everything is calm in my universe.

Into the land of motherhood...

I had no idea how much my life was about to change when I gave birth. I mean of course I knew that life would be different, but I could not understand it completely until I lived it. That I was going to go from the scientific method (my career path) and studying epidemiology to practically memorizing the "No Cry Sleep Solution" was a bit of a shock to my system. It has been difficult adjusting to the realization that I am a mum and every time I talk to other parents it reinforces the fact that my life is never going to be the way it was a short six months ago. Not that I want it to be. I love my new life and I know that I am still the science nerd I was a short time ago. I am just going to have to learn how to keep my interests alive while investing in a new life.

I felt like I gained membership to an exclusive club when I became a mother. All of a sudden, mums everywhere would talk to me and even discuss parenting methods. I find that carrying a child suddenly makes strangers much more open to conversation. I have never had the gift of ‘social ease’ or whatever you want to call it and I have found it both frustrating and wonderful to have such a cute little icebreaker to help me meet people. I always wanted to be a social butterfly, but was painfully shy growing up and to this day I find it hard to converse with strangers. I do love how babies seem to bring joy to so many people. I find that even the surliest-looking cashiers can do a complete turnaround when faced with a little baby. I realise that not everyone likes babies, but I do find that Laney brings a smile to many strangers. And I like that.

I am a 27 year old brand new mother of Laney my six-month-old baby and wife to Mike. We recently moved to a new town and I feel like this new start for our family is the perfect opportunity for me to have a fresh start myself.


My goal for this blog is not to share every little detail about mothering, but to find a balance in my life between who I was, who I am, and who I will become. I cannot spend every moment discussing what I found in my baby’s diaper, nor can I be self-centered and try and live my life as it was before my daughter was born. I want to become the best wife, mother, friend, and science nerd I can be. I don’t think that I can have it all, but I do think I can strike some kind of balance.

Part of growing in this way is realizing that I have “let myself go” a little bit and that I need to take time to improve myself mentally, physically, and spiritually. In order to be my best I need to take some time for myself. I find it way to easy to put off laundry for one day. That one day soon becomes one week. I want to have a decently clean house so that I don't have to spend time obsessing about how I should be cleaning. I don't want to avoid inviting friends over because of the state of my house. I do not want to avoid swimming with my baby because of the fear of being seen in a swimsuit. It is time to do something about these things. It is time to take care of my house and to take care of me

You could maybe refer to this as my New Year’s Resolutions, but I am going to think of them as my New Me Resolutions. I would like to lose weight, learn some fashion sense, eat healthy, keep my house clean, and make new friends. All of these things will take my attentions somewhat off my baby girl, but in taking some time for myself I will improve her life and my husband’s life by providing them with a better mother and wife.

So if you made it this far, welcome and thanks for following my journey. I hope that you can see a transformation as I completely make myself over. Is there anything you’ve done to improve yourself lately?