Thursday, May 6, 2010

Into the land of motherhood...

I had no idea how much my life was about to change when I gave birth. I mean of course I knew that life would be different, but I could not understand it completely until I lived it. That I was going to go from the scientific method (my career path) and studying epidemiology to practically memorizing the "No Cry Sleep Solution" was a bit of a shock to my system. It has been difficult adjusting to the realization that I am a mum and every time I talk to other parents it reinforces the fact that my life is never going to be the way it was a short six months ago. Not that I want it to be. I love my new life and I know that I am still the science nerd I was a short time ago. I am just going to have to learn how to keep my interests alive while investing in a new life.

I felt like I gained membership to an exclusive club when I became a mother. All of a sudden, mums everywhere would talk to me and even discuss parenting methods. I find that carrying a child suddenly makes strangers much more open to conversation. I have never had the gift of ‘social ease’ or whatever you want to call it and I have found it both frustrating and wonderful to have such a cute little icebreaker to help me meet people. I always wanted to be a social butterfly, but was painfully shy growing up and to this day I find it hard to converse with strangers. I do love how babies seem to bring joy to so many people. I find that even the surliest-looking cashiers can do a complete turnaround when faced with a little baby. I realise that not everyone likes babies, but I do find that Laney brings a smile to many strangers. And I like that.

I am a 27 year old brand new mother of Laney my six-month-old baby and wife to Mike. We recently moved to a new town and I feel like this new start for our family is the perfect opportunity for me to have a fresh start myself.

My goal for this blog is not to share every little detail about mothering, but to find a balance in my life between who I was, who I am, and who I will become. I cannot spend every moment discussing what I found in my baby’s diaper, nor can I be self-centered and try and live my life as it was before my daughter was born. I want to become the best wife, mother, friend, and science nerd I can be. I don’t think that I can have it all, but I do think I can strike some kind of balance.

Part of growing in this way is realizing that I have “let myself go” a little bit and that I need to take time to improve myself mentally, physically, and spiritually. In order to be my best I need to take some time for myself. I find it way to easy to put off laundry for one day. That one day soon becomes one week. I want to have a decently clean house so that I don't have to spend time obsessing about how I should be cleaning. I don't want to avoid inviting friends over because of the state of my house. I do not want to avoid swimming with my baby because of the fear of being seen in a swimsuit. It is time to do something about these things. It is time to take care of my house and to take care of me

You could maybe refer to this as my New Year’s Resolutions, but I am going to think of them as my New Me Resolutions. I would like to lose weight, learn some fashion sense, eat healthy, keep my house clean, and make new friends. All of these things will take my attentions somewhat off my baby girl, but in taking some time for myself I will improve her life and my husband’s life by providing them with a better mother and wife.

So if you made it this far, welcome and thanks for following my journey. I hope that you can see a transformation as I completely make myself over. Is there anything you’ve done to improve yourself lately?

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