Thursday, September 1, 2011

A lesson in math

I don't take very much comfort in the statistics anymore.

When I lost my first baby, the doctors all told me that statistically I would probably never have another miscarriage. Thankfully, I had Laney with my next pregnancy, but I still didn't assume I would be in the clear. My own mother had three miscarriages. I'm already doing worse than her considering how she had child, miscarriage, child, for her first three pregnancies. I'm sitting at miscarriage, child, miscarriage.

This is why it is important to not put faith into statistics. Now that I've come up on the wrong side of statistics again, I'm reminded that I put my faith in a God who doesn't rely on drawing straws to decide our fate.

I'm going to throw myself into the next pregnancy with every fibre of my being. Mike says we need to celebrate every day of our babies' lives. I don't know how my heart will take it. I am managing this time because I kept myself detached. But, I'm done with statistics.

Poor Laney. "Mummy sad," and "Mummy crying" aren't phrases I want to become commonplace.


  1. I'm so sad and sorry to read about your loss. I trust that Laney will have you smiling again in no time. That's such a sweet picture of you two! Best wishes.

  2. Oh geeze. I hate this. I hate that we have to go through pain like this. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Truly. Losing a child is a great tragedy - no matter how old they are. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May you be comforted and reassured as you grieve and process and lean into God. xx


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