A push-up update

Just a quick post to check in on my progress with the 100 push-up program.

I have finally completed the first two weeks of the program. I repeated a ton of days until I felt comfortable doing them. After finishing the first two weeks it is time to do another test to see where you are at. This time I managed to do eleven push-ups. That is a huge improvement from the two I was able to complete initially, so I am happy with the program and my progress.

I fell short of the sixteen I needed to move on to week three, but I am starting at day one, but with the initial test score of eleven, which already includes more push-ups than I was doing in track one. I am sure I will be able to do the minimum sixteen push-ups when I complete the next two weeks of the program (not necessarily in two weeks real time as I repeat lots of days).

I'm using the official app to track my progress and it works great. It automatically prompts me for the number of push-ups to do and counts down between reps.

twenty-seven dresses...

I don't know about you, but I am somewhat of a clothing hoarder. I outgrow clothing and then hold on to it because I plan to fit into it again.

This results in an over-packed closet full of clothing, with nothing to wear ever. When I last organized my closet at the beginning of my weight-loss after Laney, I found it so much easier to deal with everything. Actually moving out the too-small clothing made it more motivating for me to lose weight.

original closet

after organization

I went and added clothing to the closet as I grew smaller, but I left the bigger clothing in, knowing that I was soon planning on getting pregnant. That was a mistake. I should have gotten rid of the bigger stuff and planned on only maternity clothing for my pregnancy. Leaving the bigger items in my closet made it too easy to allow myself to gain weight throughout my pregnancy with Neve and embarrassingly, more after. I think I would have thought twice if I had to go out and purchase larger clothing instead of simply pulling it out of my closet.

So, I am cleaning out my closet again. And, this time I am getting rid of clothing as they become too big.

Which, brings me to the fun way I would like to document my weight loss. I have a gazillion formal dresses, fourteen if we are going to be exact. They represent high school, family and friends' weddings, college to the present time. So, in other words they start out small and gradually get bigger.

I thought a fun motivator for me would be for me to work my way backwards through these dresses and then let them go. Either altering them to fit me at a healthy weight, or getting them out of my house forever (except my wedding dress).

Here's the first dress on the chopping block. Stay tuned.

Back to basics

I can't believe that it was almost three years ago that I attempted to train for 100 push-ups.  That just shows how it is all well and good to have goals, but if you don't actually stick with them you end up  further down the road with nothing changed. Ok, that isn't to say that I made zero progress, because looking back, I couldn't do a single push-up. And I did get close to my weight goal before getting pregnant again.

But... I am pretty much back where I started. I am not giving up, however.

I may struggle, I may temporarily give up, but I will keep trying again,

I did the initial test this time and thankfully I managed two push-ups. I am now up to 22 push-ups in five reps. I totally recommend this program, you guys. It is amazing how quickly improvement takes place.

Coming up..

I've been looking at a few basic fitness tests so that I have a standard both to compare my progress with and to aspire to. I will show you which one I plan to use soon.

Liv is Back...Alright

What is the point of this blog anyways?

I wanted to use it as a tool to hold myself accountable to the changes I wanted to make in my life. Changes I still want to make, with added ones along the way.

Probably my highest weight

Right before I got pregnant with the 2nd baby I miscarried

Somewhere along the line, I started reading other blogs and I lost my own vision for this blog. Of course I should be sharing pictures of my children and documenting their lives, or so I thought. So, instead of using this space to challenge myself to change for the better, I started using it as a place to scrapbook Laney's activities. And then I kind of just stopped.

I want to capture memories of my children growing up, but lately, I have been plagued with questions about whether or not I want that information online. I have started the process of creating photo books to document their lives and I would like to claim this space for me. That is not to say that I will never share about them or put any photos up, but I would like to keep their stories mainly to themselves as I can't take back anything I put out there about them.

Also, I need this space for me. Everything about my life is so heavily entrenched in my children, even my own identity. And, I'm going crazy. Not because of them, but because I am not taking care of myself properly. I love my kids. Therefore, I need to be the best person I can be so that I can be the best mother to them.

So rather than publish another list showing all my crazy goals, I've decided to start slow.
I want to start by documenting my weight loss, so I plan to focus on that goal for awhile.

Here I go again.

P.S. I do plan do give an update soon on my anxiety and panic attacks.

Keeping it real

I haven't lived up to my goal of weekly weight-loss updates. No excuses. And, thankfully it's not because I haven't been making any progress. I have. Big time. I just haven't had much time for the blog lately. I never want this to feel like a chore. I blog about trying to improve myself because it keeps me accountable and I enjoy it. If I don't feel like posting then I just won't.

Alright, on with the update already.

I am down 20 lbs since I really started trying to lose weight at the end of February. Yay. The not-so-great right now is that I'm currently stuck in a plateau. I'm not cheating at all on food and I started exercising almost every day. I have been stuck at the same weight for almost two weeks. Boo. It was so tempting to quit exercising. The weight was falling off just fine until I decided adding exercise in would be a good idea. I am pushing through for the time being because I feel great and I know it is good for me in the long run.

Moving on. I look slightly put together for me today. I bought this shirt today and was so happy with the way the clothing I tried on fit my body. I can't wait until my current clothing doesn't fit anymore.

I am not wearing any makeup today as per usual. Do you get used to wearing makeup everyday? I hardly ever put it on and when I do it feels so uncomfortable on my face. I really want to start wearing some more often.

I do need to work on looking a little more put together overall. Jogging pants are too comfortable. I think it's time to wear something that is a little more form fitting. We'll leave the heels for awhile longer I think.

Thanks for following along with me.

Cellulite vs cellulitis

It has been a crazy month. I've been left with little free time. Mike has been gone for work so I've been flying solo. And, of course that's why things have gone haywire. I came down with a facial infection called cellulitis which can be pretty serious. I ended up having two days of IV antibiotics. Fun. It is better now, but I have to share with you something I found hilarious.

The remains of my IV

I went into worry mode when I was told what I had. Mike reminded me that I need to trust God with everything and I spent the evening reading my Bible and feeling 100% better about the situation. I asked some friends to pray for me on facebook and told them that I had cellulitis. Apparently at least half of my friends thought I was being funny and was asking for prayer for my cellulitE. One took me seriously and told me that he didn't think it was that serious but that he would pray anyways, and maybe I should just play some soccer and go to the gym. I laughed so hard I cried. 

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And to totally change the subject, I figured that it is about time to post an update on my weight loss. I'm probably feeling the need because I actually have lost some weight!

I posted about a month ago that I joined a diet plan. I wasn't expecting much and by the following day I was having tremendous regrets.

The first three days were horrible. I had terrible headaches, no energy, and I was starving. Looking back, I think that this was due to sugar cravings. After I got past the first week, I felt great. And, I wasn't hungry any longer. This is by far the easiest diet I have ever done. And by easy, I don't mean that I don't pay much attention to what I eat. I am going by servings of the food groups. I actually have found my cravings for junk almost completely gone. I do sometimes have a little treat, but it is just a tiny amount. I'm OK to have a couple of bites and be done with it.

As of today I have lost 1/4 of the total weight I want to lose. In one month! I am seeing the inches drop as well as the numbers on the scale at a fairly rapid rate.

I truly feel for the first time in my life that eating this way can become my lifestyle. I'm not counting down the days until I can eat whatever I want. I am enjoying the healthy food. I know I will eat some of the bad stuff again, but I think at the end of this I will have gained the skills to make healthy eating a priority.

Keeping it real

OK. Let's be real here. I haven't made the physical changes to myself I wanted to make when I started this blog. There have been improvements in some areas, but not in others. I need to be accountable to someone other than myself. Because for some reason I've gotten into the habit of letting myself down. There, I said it. I'm used to disappointing myself.

I don't want to let you down though. My plan is to dedicate every Thursday to "Keeping it Real" where I will post photos of my progress (good or bad) along with a rating on a scale of 1 to 10.

Here we go.

Put-togetherness:

Score- 3. No makeup. Sloppy hairstyle. Comfy clothes that don't look particularly matched.

Nails:

Score- 4. Stop chewing them already.

Head to toe:

Score- 1. Because I'm not a healthy weight and I am determined that I have nowhere to go but up (well, technically down on the scale)

Inches from start:

Today is the start date so nothing to report.

Bust: 0
Hips: 0
Waist: 0

What have I just done?

Well, I decided to join a weight loss program. I didn't really do much research on it before joining and paid the money. Of course, I then come home and read all these terrible reviews of it. I've decided that I am going to give it an honest effort however. I can do enough research on my own to make sure that I do it safely and if something they tell me doesn't jive, then I am going to speak up.

I will update soon.

Here's hoping I didn't just throw my money down the gutter.

Interview outfit and my toasty marshmallow

It's been awhile since I've been so nervous. Well, maybe I was nervous before having Laney and that wasn't all that long ago. This morning my stomach was all aflutter, my palms sweaty and cold, and I felt shaky. I'm not really sure how the interview went. I was quite nervous, but think I managed to do OK. I know I could have answered some of the questions a whole lot better though. Anyways, now that it's out of the way, I'm going to try and put it out of my mind until I hear from them.

I have to share my interview outfit with you. Please feel free to tell me what you think, good or bad. A main reason for starting this blog was to improve myself, including my fashion sense. Personally, I love the colour of the satin shirt. I need to make a better effort at dressing myself up more often. Laney hardly recognized me when I got her up from her nap. She kept smiling at me and kissing me. I think she liked it.

Please excuse the "bobblehead" shot. I had to take it myself.

I found a used snowsuit for Laney and wanted to try it on her in case I needed to return it. No worries. It was huge. Once the snowpants went on Mike and I burst out laughing at the sight. Laney looked like a marshmallow baby and I was tearing up I was laughing so hard.

Once she started walking in her snowsuit I just about died. I feel bad for all of you who live in warm climates and don't get to experience snowsuits. Really, I do. It's not very often that I feel any sympathy for you folks, but I think you are missing out when it comes to snow sports. Don't think I feel all that bad for you though, I do spend a fair amount of time dreaming of living in a warmer climate. You just haven't lived if you haven't seen a baby in a snowsuit that adds about three times to her bulk. I can't wait to throw her onto a big old snowbank.

Oh, and P.S. I've lost 5 pounds since starting the 30 Day Shred on November 1. Yay! I've now completed seven workouts, only missing two. I am happy with the results so far.

The quitters

I felt it when I woke up this morning. Burning muscles. Everywhere. I was already making excuses in my head as to why I wouldn't work out this morning ("you can ease into it" "wait until you're not as sore; you can work up to everyday" "Laney woke up early, do it later"). I immediately (OK a few minutes later) recognized these voices in my head as "the quitters" and I decided I wasn't going to let them win this time. That is why I dragged myself out of bed and made myself do day 2 of the 30 Day Shred this morning.  I found that once I got warmed up my muscles didn't hurt as bad, although I definitely wasn't able to keep up the pace as well as yesterday. I did finish it though. I will work through the pain. I just hope the soreness isn't compounded tomorrow.

Anyways, I wasn't the only one tired yesterday. Last evening, Mike wanted to clean up the yard a bit. I dressed Laney up and let her run around the yard in the crisp air. After her bath, I was doing our nighttime ritual starting with brushing her hair. Instead of fighting me for the brush as usual, Laney laid her head against me. I called Mike in and found that she had fallen asleep against me, still on her bath towel.

I was so disappointed that I couldn't just lay her down like that (stupid diaper and sleeper). It was one of those moments I want to etch into my memory. Long after she's grown I want to be able to close my eyes and remember every detail. And, I think she caught onto something. Tonight she needed me to rock her to sleep and it has been a very long time since she has allowed me that privilege. I am one blessed mother.

I've been shredded

Today was day one of doing the 30 day shred DVD. Wow. My legs were shaking and I felt sick for an hour or two afterwards. I was so sore I was worried I wasn't going to be able to take very good care of Laney. I don't know how I will feel tomorrow, but I'm going to make myself do it again anyways. I really like that this workout only takes 20 minutes, because let's face it, mums often don't have much more free time than this. Jillian Michaels ensures that you work hard for those 20 minutes. There are no breaks and you are always working two muscle groups.

Mike really wants us both to focus a lot more on being healthier. I really appreciate this because in the past it has always been me trying to initiate changes in our eating habits. Having him on-board will make things much easier (or so I hope). We are going to weigh-in every Sunday evening. I am ready to do this. I don't have any more time to lose.

There's still time to enter the 35$ CSN giveaway. 

On My Mind

Today is rather random. I apologize. My brain is cluttered with too many different thoughts. I think it might be due to the four hours of sleep I got last night. Someone please tell me that all babies sleep eventually.

I looked at the date today and realized that today is August 23. This day will always be remembered. My first baby was due on this day last year. We lost that one. If things had been different, we would be celebrating our first baby's birthday around now. However, God managed to turn things around for good.

You see, Laney wouldn't be here if circumstances had been different. She was born at the end of October last year. So while we don't know why God allows bad things to happen to us, and we may never know in this life, I do know that He can turn terrible things into good ones.

I finally weighed myself today. It wasn't pretty. I actually weigh 3 more pounds than I did a week after Laney was born. I lost a lot of weight that first week (thanks to postpartum sweating and a little diet plan called H1N1). However, I am now about 15 pounds more than I weighed before I got pregnant with Laney. I promptly logged onto sparkpeople.com and am going to start tracking my meals.

I am sick of editing myself out of photos with Laney because I don't like the way I look. It is time to either suck it up or deal with it. I am going to choose the latter. Laney deserves to have a mummy in her photo albums. She also deserves to have a mummy that will set an example for her by displaying a positive body image. I am going to give it to her. She is going to face many attacks on her self-image as she grows and I do not one to be one of them.

In light of all of this, I kicked Laney and I out of the house today. Too many depressing thoughts to muddy up the day at home with. The weather has been lousy for the past couple of weeks, but I decided not to let that leave us house-bound for another minute. We needed to get out and breathe some fresh air.

It was worth it.
I even let her crawl in the dirt. She loved it.


Look what I caught on camera!


I cured my "monday blues." I hope you have a wonderful Monday.

Midyear resolutions

So my New Year's Resolutions for 2010 didn't exactly pan out. Big surprise. I think next year my only New Year's Resolution is going to be not to make any. I think part of the reason that I haven't been able to keep resolutions is because I make my goals too general or too difficult to achieve. This blog is another example. I started it to totally transform myself from a chubby, procrastinating, frumpy, stressed out woman into a more stylish, fit, and joyful one. If I am going to have any success, or for that matter any way to measure success, I need some specific, attainable, and short-term goals. So here they are, in no particular order.

1. Complete a sprint triathlon

In high school I was really fit. I exercised all the time. Not to brag (OK, maybe a little), but I did 1000 crunchies every night in grade 12. I took a course in high school called “Super Fit” and the final assignment was to do a sprint triathlon. For those of you wondering what this consists of, check out this site. I am so far from fit at this point in my life. I really would like to feel better about my body and have some more energy. Completing this was originally my goal for this summer; however, things were not so simple and figuring out how to take care of a baby and training just did not happen. My town runs a triathlon every year and I would like to be able to compete and finish it in the summer of 2011.

2. Do devotions most days

I tend to put my relationship with God on the backburner far too often. I would really like to spend more time reading the Bible and need to start setting aside some time everyday. When I went to Ethiopia a couple of years ago, I read the entire Bible in my evenings. It was so simple there finding the time to do this. Here in North America it is so easy to get distracted and not make time for things that are important. I made this goal stating "most days" because I know life sometimes gets in the way and it is not always possible to say every day. If I had made every day my goal, then I know that I am likely to quit trying after the first time I miss a day.

3. Floss my teeth most days.

I am ashamed to admit that I am one of those people who only floss after eating corn-on-the-cob or immediately before my next dentist appointment. I hope you aren’t too grossed out. I have a friend who is a dental assistant and she is always telling me how important it is to floss. This article backs her up and has succeeded in making flossing everyday a priority . I want to impress my dental hygienist next time I see her and I don’t want to hear anymore lectures from her. I need some validation from the dental hygienist.

4. Lose 30 lbs

This goal hopefully will be met when I complete some of my other goals, such as the triathlon. I never had weight issues growing up. I started to gain weight through post-secondary when I didn’t really make eating healthy and exercising a priority. To help me achieve this goal, I am going to use SparkPeople again. I had begun to lose some weight two years ago using this website. If you have some pounds to drop, I strongly suggest checking it out. You can set a goal weight and the date you want to meet your goal and they will give you personalized nutrition plans. You can also just use it to track your food and they will count all the calories, etc. for you.

5. Eat healthy foods

I really want to be a good example for Laney. I do not want to see her grow up struggling with her weight. Mike also seems to struggle with being fairly intolerant to excess sodium. I had a gestational diabetes scare (almost had it) during my pregnancy. Besides wanting to avoid any repeats in subsequent pregnancies, I do not want to get Type II diabetes down the road. I have begun to make most foods from scratch and we barely eat any processed foods at all. I now need to focus on more balanced meals and getting in more veggies and less carbs.

6. Start my own business

This is a lofty goal for me. I am not aiming so high that I need a business that will make a living, but more something I can do on the side to make a little extra for my family. I would love to be able to do something out of my home. Unfortunately, being scientifically minded, I am not the most creative. Also, considering how my skills are in the laboratory, there aren’t many legal businesses I can run from home. If you have any legitimate suggestions or ideas that don’t consist of me talking dirty on the phone to sweaty old men please share.

7. Keep my house clean

I have been checking out this site almost daily and have finally taken the plunge into following some of the methods. I’ve used a few tips to organize my life and not have cleaning take over. It is so nice to plan out my days and as a bonus it gives me some structure, which is something I miss about my job.

8. Go on a great vacation

Mike and I are always planning vacations to exotic locations. Tahiti, Zanzibar, and South Africa are just a few of the places we would love to see. We have not been on a proper vacation since our honeymoon to Jamaica five years ago. We have been on a few trips to visit family, and while nice, isn’t always relaxing like a vacation should be. Hopefully goal number 6 will help me make a little extra to save up for a good one.

9. Save money and pay off some debt

Mike and I both have student loans, parental loan, a mortgage, and vehicle payments. We would really love to have no debt in the long term and only our mortgage in the next several years. We have to start budgeting, as much as I hate that word. We have gotten so used to just spending without any planning or saving that our money always seems to disappear without us having noticed. I would love to find some great tools that would help us in this area.

10. Complete 20 pushups in a row

I mean real pushups. Not the girly ones. I found this website that gives a training regimen to finish 100 consecutive pushups. I am going to try this and see if I can get to 20. The sky is the limit after that. Also, just so you know the only real reason this goal is on here is because I felt like nine goals just didn't sound right.